Lovers and Friends

Category: Dating and Relationships

Post 1 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 24-Apr-2005 19:43:21

what do you want?

My answer would be Friendship. theres no pressure and your both having fun. and its cool to no someone first as a friend before falling in love or liking them. So, tell me what is your opinion on this topic?

Post 2 by 1800trivia (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Sunday, 24-Apr-2005 19:52:42

I think the best lovers are best friends.

Post 3 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Sunday, 24-Apr-2005 20:32:22

diddo.

Post 4 by kool_turk (This site is so "educational") on Sunday, 24-Apr-2005 23:32:39

I agree.

Post 5 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 25-Apr-2005 3:55:41

Hm, both. Well, it should start with friendship and love comes then or it doesn't.

Post 6 by season (the invisible soul) on Monday, 25-Apr-2005 4:20:50

friendship is the ever lasting relationship we have, not like lover, yes if you are good luck enough, you will have something call never ever lastin love, but if something between you and your lover, everything will be different story. even though quarrel and problems are always appear between friends, but i believe is more easy to forgive one another, and thats something more warm and nice than as a lover.

Post 7 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Monday, 25-Apr-2005 4:21:36

there's a saying - it's easy for friends to become lovers, but hard for lovers to become friends. I guess it comes down to this - without friendship you do not have the basis to a lasting relationship. If you are only lovers, i.e. if there is only that physical attraction, then the relationship will not last, because that physical attraction, that need to be with each other physically, does not last for ever. I mean yeh of course the attraction stays in a lasting relationship, but as the relationship progresses there is not that constant lust, shall we say, it gives way to a deeper love/respect if the relationship is a lasting one. so if there is no friendship, then there is, in reality, no love.

Post 8 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 25-Apr-2005 8:30:44

It's true. Friendship is mostly everlasting. Earlier, I had no male friends, so I didn't have the luck to get a lover.

Post 9 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Monday, 25-Apr-2005 8:57:09

well I have lots of male friends, but that doesn't necessarily follow - after all, you can be friends with someone of the opposite sex without having a physical relationship with them.

Post 10 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 25-Apr-2005 14:12:34

Yes of course you do. But I think most of the times you have a relationship with ssomeone, you were friends with him at first for a while. No matter if it was for a day or for - several years.

Post 11 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 25-Apr-2005 16:43:15

thanks, i agree. everything starts with friendship. is there anymore comments to this? feel free to add in.

Post 12 by saiyan4414 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Monday, 25-Apr-2005 22:11:04

I agree for example if you are friends first if something happens like if you both break up then you could both still be friends just like you were before you started going out.

Post 13 by Witchcraft (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 26-Apr-2005 13:42:02

Definitely friends first would be my preference, and that is what has worked out for me. But I don't think the lust/physical attraction necessarily fades. It hasn't for us. LOL, and I don't see it happening any time soon.

Post 14 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 26-Apr-2005 14:39:51

Oh dear, staying friends after a relationship is not always easy, trust me.

Post 15 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 26-Apr-2005 16:46:24

yeah its better being just friends. theres no pressure.

Post 16 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 27-Apr-2005 12:24:02

True, but if you are really in love, this can mean more to you than any friendships you have, no matter how strong they are.

Post 17 by season (the invisible soul) on Wednesday, 27-Apr-2005 12:30:49

yes ins, agree. when you are in love, all the feeling is much much stronger then friends. but there's where jealousy and so on happen.

Post 18 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Thursday, 28-Apr-2005 14:18:42

That's true Season, I totalyl agree. they both have their advantages and disadvantages of course.

Post 19 by dissonance (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Friday, 29-Apr-2005 21:03:11

I agree with all of you guys. However, there is a flip side to this. It has happened to me that I have found it easier to ask someone out (if I were to) if I haven't been their friend because I'm afraid that if I ask a close friend to become my lover and this person says no, that will weaken the relationship.

Post 20 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Saturday, 30-Apr-2005 10:16:24

That's true, but sometimes you are sure that you won'T lose this person as a friend, so that's why you dare asking this person.

Post 21 by 1800trivia (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Saturday, 30-Apr-2005 16:37:40

It's hard to be serious with someone who is not a close friend, and you ight develop feelings that you couldn't follow through on in the long term. I mean, you don't want to get too close to someone you know you could never be with in the long term; it'd hurt too much.

Post 22 by Susanne (move over school!) on Saturday, 30-Apr-2005 16:47:07

Being friends is great, sure, and there are certainly things to be said for friendship. For example, it's usually based on a real interest in one another as a whole person, and can thus be more lasting and fulfilling in ways that many relationships are not. But when you really, really like someone, don't you still crave a relationship with them? Relationships have an element of passion, of intensity, of connection, that friendships usually don't have, and perhaps can't have by definition.

Post 23 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Saturday, 30-Apr-2005 17:25:58

Friendship is ok. As long as we still talk to each other. I’m willing to give up, or I have already given up my relationship with someone. And just try to get whats left in our relationship, which is being friends. The most important thing for me is to see him happy, that’s all I care about. Even thiugh it hurts me, seeing him with someone new. As long as his happy, I’m happy and besides if were really ment for each other in the future then fate can find a way for us to be together again and continue where we left off.

Thanks for all your advice and opinions it really helps a lot.

Post 24 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Sunday, 01-May-2005 12:39:15

Well if both feel the same - why not!

Post 25 by Heavy Metal Girl 85 (Zone BBS is my Life) on Sunday, 01-May-2005 22:22:35

Yes I agree that the best lovers are best friends, because they know each other inside and out. I'm currently dating my best friend of 11 years, we met at a summer camp for the Visually Impaired. At the time we met I was 10 and we was 12 and now I'm 20 and he is 22. We've been dating for seven months now

Post 26 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 01-May-2005 22:32:55

cool. its really good to be friends with someone. you like cause you can enjoy each others company with no pressure and no worries. and love will work its way to you and that special someone you have. LOVE TAKES ALOT OF TIME TO GROW, LIKE FRIENDSHIP

Post 27 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 02-May-2005 4:18:39

I agree.

Post 28 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Sunday, 28-Jun-2009 14:43:59

I prefere acquaintances first, but friends are fine.